When Holiday “Fun” Feels Like Too Much: A Letter to the Parent Who’s Already Over It
Dear Parent,
If you’re already bracing yourself for the sugar crashes, the skipped naps, snarky teenage attitudes, the too-loud family gatherings, and the tight smile you’ll wear when your child starts melting down at the “fun” event - you are not alone.
This time of year is full of expectation: magic, joy, togetherness. But let’s be honest - it’s also a crash course in overstimulation and second-guessing.
Everywhere you look, it seems like other families are nailing it.
Matching PJ’s. Perfectly designed cutesy crafts. Elf on the Shelf doing crazy gymnastics on the mantle.
And maybe you’re over there thinking:
“I don’t have the energy for that.”
”I don’t want to encourage chaos and naughty behavior - we already have enough of that.”
”If I forget to move that elf even once, my kid will remember it FOREVER.”
Same.
At some point, you might’ve realized - like I did - that some of the “fun” just wasn’t worth the fallout. We never did Elf on the Shelf. Not because we’re no fun - though I’m pretty sure our kid would have said we ‘sucked’ for skipping it. But because I knew that there was no way I would ever remember to move the dang thing, I didn’t want to reward mischief, and I definitely didn’t want to wake up stressed about whether a weird little doll was creative enough that day.
And maybe you’re also the parent who decided not to travel for the holidays anymore. We hit that point, too. Our kids needed stability - shoot, we needed stability. Everyone waking up in their own beds, sticking (somewhat) to routines. Adding cross-country flights, unfamiliar beds, and packed schedules with no down time didn’t just wear us out - it threw them off completely. So we stopped.
It wasn’t easy. There were definitely family members with hurt feelings or who didn’t understand. But it was right.
Because here’s the thing:
When your child is melting down in the corner of the party…
When they suddenly seem clingier, sleepier, sassier, grumpier, or just off…
It’s not bad parenting.
It’s not you failing to create a magical season.
It’s their little nervous system throwing up a red flag that says, “This is too much.”
So here’s your permission:
It’s okay to skip stuff.
(Really, you don’t need a better reason than that)
To choose less in the name of more peace and calm.
To skip the matching PJ’s.
To say no to the late-night “fun.”
To let your kid be the one who doesn’t do everything - and feels okay about it.
For years, I felt like I had to make every tradition - every celebration - feel equally big and magical. But trying to do it all wasn’t joyful (or fun). It was exhausting.
Eventually, I realized: I don’t have to go over the top to honor what matters.
We could do less - and it still counted.
Because connection doesn’t come from crafting the perfect moment.
It comes from being present - even when you’re tired.
You don’t have to keep up with the Joneses. You don’t even have to wave at them from across the street.
A few small ways to make things feel just a little easier:
Pick 2-3 non-negotiables. A movie night, a family dinner, a favorite story. Let the rest be optional.
Protect bedtime. Kids (and adults) fall apart faster when sleep goes out the window.
Give your child a “yes.” Let them choose one routine that stays the same, even when everything else is different.
Model “no” with confidence. Saying “we’re skipping this one” doesn’t mean you’re lazy. It means you’re wise
If you need support navigating the chaos in a way that works for your kid (and for you), I’d love to help.
Together, we’ll figure out what actually helps your family feel more connected - and what it’s okay to let go of.
Click here to schedule your free consultation.
Let’s make this season at least 5% easier - starting now,
